Toonstock
by Erin T. Aardvark
Summary: Jellystone Park hosts a Battle of the Bands contest


_AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was my first HB story I have ever written. I have this thing for the HB rock groups, which is where this story idea came from. I used as many as I could, but I had to leave a couple out, because there's only so much you can do with something like this. Also keep in mind that the Pebbles Flintstone and Bam Bam Rubble that appear in this story are the versions from the 1970's "Pebbles and Bam Bam Show" version._

It was a warm, summer night. A gathering was being held at Jellystone Park. Ranger Smith was put in charge of organizing an outdoor concert, known as Toonstock, a Battle of the Bands contest. Many big name acts arrived, as well as a few lesser known ones, too. There was a thousand dollar prize to the best band. Of course, Dick Dastardly and his sidekick, Muttley, were planning on winning the contest, by (how else?) cheating.

"With all the dirty tricks I have planned, I can't lose!" Dastardly said. Then he turned to his sidekick. "Right, Muttley?"

"Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh!" Muttley shouted, and then he laughed.

The curtain went up just then. The audience began cheering and applauding. Ranger Smith walked out on stage and stepped up to the microphone.

"Welcome to our Battle of the Bands contest!" he said. "You, the audience, will decide who our big winners are tonight! Before we bring out our first act, let me give the rules of the contest. Each contestant will have one chance to perform. After all the contestants have been on, the audience will decide who the winner is."

"We already know the formalities!" Dastardly shouted from the wings. "Let's get this contest started!"

"And so, without further ado," Ranger Smith continued. "It gives me great pleasure to introduce our first act, Josie and the Pussycats!"

Ranger Smith got off the stage, and another curtain opened. Josie and the Pussycats (Melody and Valerie) were performing one of their many hit songs. Their friends, Alan, Alex, and Alexandra were watching from the wings.

"Josie, Melody, and Valerie sound really good tonight," Alan said.

"They're a shoe in!" Alex shouted.

"I could do a lot better out there than that crazy redhead," Alexandra grumbled.

The Pussycats' mascot, Sebastian, snickered. Dastardly and Muttley were watching the Pussycats perform. Part one of their plan was ready to be put into motion.

"All right, Muttley," Dastardly said. "Go to it."

Muttley snickered, and snuck up behind Sebastian. He gave a fierce growl. Sebastian let out a shrieking "meeoowww!" and darted across the stage. He wound around Valerie's legs, causing her to trip.

"Sebastian!" she shouted, knocking into Melody's drum set.

"Valerie, watch out!" Josie shouted.

"My drums!" Melody yelled, trying to keep her drum set from falling, but to no avail. Sebastian ran by again, and bumped into Josie, who was trying to help Valerie keep her balance, and Melody catch her falling drum set. All three Pussycats lost their balance, and crashed to the ground. The audience began to boo and hiss.

"I think we were a big hit!" Melody shouted, giggling.

"Oh no!" Alan shouted.

"Boy, that was terrible!" Alex groaned.

"Look at it this way," Alexandra said. "It was a vast improvement."

The curtain was brought down then. Ranger Smith cleared his throat and stepped up to the microphone again.

"Uhh, let's bring out our next act," he said. "All the way from Bedrock, welcome the Way-Outs!"

The Way-Outs came out on stage next. They began to sing their hit song. Dastardly had a good plan in mind for this act, since they were once confused for aliens. He took a megaphone out.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" he shouted. The Way-Outs stopped singing all of a sudden. "There's a report of alien invaders posing as a rock group on Earth. They plan on taking over the world, using rock music to hypnotize the population! You have been warned!"

"Hey, now wait a minute!" one Way-Out shouted.

"Get 'em off the stage!" someone in the audience yelled. "Quick, before they take over the world!"

People began throwing tomatoes and eggs at the Way-Outs, and they made a hasty retreat.

"Let's get out of here, mates!" one shouted.

"This is the last time we'll ever play at the Water Buffalo Lounge again!" another one shouted.

"Now, wait a minute, fellas!" Fred Flintstone, who arranged for the Way-Outs to appear at the contest in the first place, shouted.

"Too late, Fred," his best friend, Barney Rubble, said. "They're long gone."

The next act up was Jet Screamer, performing his classic song, "Eep, Opp, Ork, Ah-Ah." As he was singing it, Muttley sneaked up behind him, and attached a sky rocket to the back of his shirt, and lit it. Unfortunately, this rocket had a fast burning fuse, and Jet Screamer was sent skyward once he was halfway through the song.

"Now that's one act that's really out of this world!" Yogi Bear shouted. "Eh, Boo-Boo?"

"You said it, Yogi!" Boo-Boo shouted.

"The way it looks now, I don't think there's going to be a winner!" Quick Draw McGraw commented.

"Don't count on it, Quick Draw," Doggie Daddy replied. "We've still got plenty of acts to go."

"Next up, Jellystone's own Huckleberry Hound!" Ranger Smith said. The curtain opened. Huckleberry Hound approached the microphone.

"Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my darlin' Clemint_iiiiiiiii_ne!" he screeched. Everybody in the audience cringed and groaned, Dastardly and Muttley included.

"I don't think we even have to cheat with _this _one!" Dastardly shouted, holding his ears.

"Sheesh!" Muttley groaned.

Huck continued to "sing" (and I use the term as loosely as possible). The audience began booing, hissing, and throwing rotten tomatoes at him.

"Was I off pitch?" he asked, oblivious to his bad singing.

"Heavens to Mergatroid!" Snagglepuss shouted. "Huck! Quick! Exit, stage left. Stage outta there, even!"

Huck left stage left right away. Ranger Smith went back out to the microphone on the stage real quick.

"Well, maybe that wasn't so much on target," he said. "But you're sure to love our next act. Presenting, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids!"

The back curtain opened just as Ranger Smith left the stage. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids began their song. Dastardly turned to Muttley then.

"All right, Muttley," he said. "Go to it."

Muttley snickered, and walked over to the Sundance Kids' mascot, a dog named Elvis. Muttley whacked him on the head with a mallet. Elvis turned and growled at Muttley, who began to point at Sebastian, telling Elvis (in dog talk) that it was the cat who bopped him with the mallet. Elvis turned towards Sebastian and growled. Sebastian hissed, and took off once more. The dog and cat dashed out on stage, and caused chaos, much like Josie and the Pussycats chance on stage. Instead, Sebastian dashed behind the drums, and Elvis followed, knocking the drummer, Wally, off his seat and onto the floor.

"Elvis!" he shouted. "You crazy dog!"

Just then, Sebastian burst through the drum, followed by Elvis. He began to chase Sebastian around the stage. They began running in circles around the brunette (Steffy's) legs. She lost her balance, and knocked into the drum set.

"Whoa!" she shouted, as she went down. As she fell, Steffy's arm knocked into the blonde (Merilee), and she began to fall, as well, but directly at Butch.

"Gotcha!" Butch shouted, before Merilee could crash to the ground, but it didn't stop there. Both Butch and Merilee crashed to the ground. Sebastian ran off stage just then. Elvis growled, and was about to chase after him, but Butch grabbed the dog's collar. Wally wasn't too happy.

"Now look what you did!" he shouted.

The audience booed and hissed. The Sundance Kids packed up their instruments and trudged towards the wings.

"Would you call that a catastrophe, dear old dad?" Auggie Doggie asked.

"Indubitably, Auggie my son," Doggie Daddy said. "You might even say that was a cat-tastrophe!"

"Moving right along," Ranger Smith replied. "Our next act needs no introduction. Here they are, the incredible Impossibles!"

Many a teenage girl in the audience screamed when the curtains opened. The Impossibles launched into one of their many hit tunes.

"The Impossibles are sure one hard act to follow," Josie said.

"If anybody wins, it'll be them," Alan replied.

"Want to bet?" Dastardly asked. "The Impossibles are going straight from the top, to rock bottom!"

Dastardly pulled a lever, which opened a trap door, directly underneath the Impossibles.

"Rally hey!" they shouted as they fell through the door. Dastardly then shut the trap door and laughed.

"That got them out of the way!" he laughed.

The audience booed and hissed again. They were starting to get hostile if they didn't get any good acts soon.

"Next up," Ranger Smith said. "Another act from Bedrock. Here are the Bedrock Rockers!"

The Bedrock Rockers were Pebbles Flintstone and Bam-Bam Rubble and their friends Moonrock, Penny, and Wiggy. They were doing pretty good so far.

"That's my girl!" Fred shouted.

"Time for a little rock and roll," Dastardly said, and he threw a bucket full of small, round pebbles on the stage. They rolled right under the feet of the Bedrock Rockers, and some major rocking and rolling went on. All of them ended up practically face first on the stage. The audience booed again.

"Something tells me we blew it," Pebbles groaned.

"No kidding," Bam-Bam replied. The group walked off the stage. Ranger Smith was starting to get a little nervous.

"Well, I'm sure our next act will do better," he said. "All the way from Nashville, Tennessee, the Cattanooga Cats!"

The Cattanooga Cats took the stage and began playing. A lot of the audience members began screaming and applauding. Dastardly, however, was ready for them.

"All right, Muttley," he said. "Bring out the Secret Weapon!"

Muttley snickered. The secret weapon was a giant crate. He took a crowbar and began prying open the crate. Inside the crate was the Cattanooga Cats' worst nightmare.

"Hi, guys!" a female cat called out. "Could I have your autograph?"

"Oh no!" Country shouted. "It's Chessie the Autograph Cat!"

"Let's split!" Kitty Jo yelled.

"Gangway!" Scoots shouted.

"We'd better scat to get away from that autograph cat!" Groove yelled.

The Cattanooga Cats beat a hasty retreat right off the stage, with Chessie the Autograph Cat chasing them, wanting their autographs. More booing and hissing followed. Ranger Smith cleared his throat, and stepped up to the microphone again.

"Here's our next contenders," he said. "The Banana Splits!"

The Banana Splits entered the stage and began playing one of their songs. Muttley was up on the catwalk, and he began dropping banana peels all over the stage floor. The Banana Splits tripped on them and crashed to the ground.

"Was that supposed to be in the act?" Drooper asked.

"I don't think so," Bingo said. Snorky began to run around the stage, but he ended up tripping on the banana peels instead.

"What do you say we all make like bananas and split!" Fleegle shouted.

With that, the Banana Splits ran off the stage, practically slipping on the banana peels and sliding off stage, actually.

"Heavens to C sharp!" Snagglepuss shouted. "Things better start to shape up in this contest, or I'm exiting, stage left. Stage right, even!"

"I'm sure it'll get better soon, Snagglepuss," Boo-Boo said. "There are only two acts left."

"Next up," Ranger Smith said. "The Neptunes!"

The Neptunes were an interesting rock band. They had a shark for a drummer! But they could rock, that was for sure!

"Heh, heh, heh," Dastardly laughed. "Time to put that shark into his natural habitat! Muttley! Turn on the sprinklers!"

Muttley snickered, and then turned on the sprinkler system. The Neptunes got completely soaked.

"Hey!" Clam-Head shouted.

"Somebody turn off the water works!" Shelly yelled.

"No respect! No respect!" the shark, Jabberjaw, shouted.

"Let's get out of here!" Biff shouted. "We're getting drenched!"

"Not only that, but we're getting wet, too!" Bubbles yelled, and the Neptunes retreated off the stage as fast as they could.

"This is some rock concert," Ranger Smith groaned, then he walked up to the microphone. "Well, last but not least, here are Dick Dastardly and Muttley, the Rotten Apples."

A loud string of hisses and boos followed, even before Dastardly and Muttley could begin. Both of them were playing keyboards, and they were _awful_! The synthesizer music sounded like a cat being put through the garbage disposal!

"Somebody turn off the speakers!" Fluid Man shouted, plugging his fingers in his ears. "Or at least hand over a set of earplugs!"

"And I thought I was off pitch," Huck Hound said.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" Jabberjaw begged.

"He's even worse than Josie!" Alexandra shouted.

Finally, the music stopped. Dastardly and Muttley were met with stunned silence. Then they walked off the stage. Ranger Smith walked back onto the stage and stepped up to the microphone.

"Well," he said. "Looks like that's the end of our concert. Now it's up to you in the audience. Who's the winner?"

"I don't think there _is _a winner!" Cindy Bear shouted.

"Right," Quick Draw replied. "They were all just awful! Especially Dastardly and Muttley's music! Ooch!"

"I should win by default!" Dastardly shouted. "I was the only one to finish a song!"

"That's true, I suppose," Ranger Smith said. "Then, I guess you're the winner."

The Impossibles glanced at each other for a moment. Their suspicions were beginning to arise.

"I have a feeling all the mishaps that happened weren't accidents," Multi Man replied.

"What do you mean?" Kitty Jo asked.

"I mean Dastardly and Muttley must've cheated," Multi Mansaid.

"Yeah, man," Fluid Man replied. "He tried to take us out of the competition so he could win!"

"That dirty sneak!" Jabberjaw yelled. "Wait'll I get through with him! I'll give him a left! Then I'll give him a right!"

"Hold it a minute," Valerie said. "I don't think we can prove that Dick Dastardly cheating."

"That's right," Bam-Bam said. "It'll be his word against ours."

"So what do we do?" Country asked.

Nobody had an answer to that. At least not until Pebbles got that look in her eyes.

"Yabba Dabba Doozy!" she shouted. "I just got an idea!"

"Oh no!" Bam-Bam moaned. "Every time you get an idea, Peb, we end up in trouble!"

"Hold on a minute," Coil Man said. "I think we oughta give her the benefit of a doubt."

"Besides, she may be thinking what I'm thinking," Fluid Man said.

"Me too," Country said.

"Same here," Butch replied. "What's your idea, Pebbles?"

"If we all combine our talents and play a song together, we could win this contest!" Pebbles shouted.

"I was thinking the same thing," Butch said.

"Same here," Country replied.

"That makes it unanimous," Fluid Man replied.

"Okay, gang," Josie said. "This is what we'll do."

The groups huddled and began whispering their plans. They quickly got a song put together in record time. At that moment, Ranger Smith was about to hand Dastardly a check for the thousand dollars.

"Hold it a minute, Mr. Ranger!" Josie shouted.

"We have a late entry in this contest!" Pebbles called.

"A late entry?" Ranger Smith repeated.

"Don't let them go on!" Dastardly shouted. "The contest is over! I won!"

"You couldn't win a battle of the bands in a million years!" Fluid Man shouted. He handed a piece of paper to Ranger Smith, and then he, Josie, and Pebbles went behind the curtain to set up.

"You're not going to let them perform, are you?" Dastardly asked.

"This contest isn't over yet," Ranger Smith said. "I say we let them go on."

"Oh all right. Come on, Muttley. We've got more dirty work to do."

Dastardly and Muttley walked off stage, and prepared some more dirty tricks. Ranger Smith then stepped up to the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a late entry in our contest," he said. "Presenting the Jellystone All-Stars!"

The curtains opened, and a blast of music came out of the speakers. There, standing on stage were Josie and the Pussycats, Huckleberry Hound, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids, The Impossibles, The Bedrock Rockers, The Cattanooga Cats, The Banana Splits, and The Neptunes playing the song they had put together. Dastardly was standing in the wings.

"All right, Muttley," he said. "Go to it!"

With that, Muttley dashed out on stage, ready to create sabotage, but Sebastian and Elvis were standing on stage waiting for him. Elvis growled, and Sebastian hissed, fur raising on his back. Muttley gulped and took off running with Elvis and Sebastian chasing up. Muttley ran and hid behind his master's leg.

"You scaredy cat dog!" he yelled.

Elvis and Sebastian snickered and shook paws. But Dastardly wasn't through yet.

"The ol' sky rocket trick," he laughed. "This'll send those All-Stars to the moon!"

Muttley took the rocket and attached it to Wally's drum. Luckily, Steffy saw the rocket and kicked it off the drum. The rocket blasted off, creating somewhat of a fireworks show.

"Now that's what I call a real fireworks display!" Doggie Daddy shouted.

"I'll show them," Dastardly said. "Time for the ol' trap door ploy!"

Muttley pulled the trap door lever, but The Impossibles were one jump ahead of Dastardly, this time! They jumped and were able to avoid the trap door.

"Rally ho!" they shouted.

"Drat!" Dastardly said. "But I'm not out of tricks yet! Muttley, the rocks!"

Muttley emptied another bucket of rocks on the stage. Pebbles, Josie, and Merilee used some guitars as golf clubs and sent the rocks back to where they came from.

"Fore!" they shouted.

"Oh no," Dastardly groaned, and the rocks began pelting him and Muttley. "That does it! Bring in Plan C!"

Plan C was Chessie again. Muttley let her run loose on the stage, wanting the Cattanooga Cats' autographs. But this time they were ready. Scoots took out his magic crayon and drew another trap door, right under Chessie's feet.

"Going down!" he shouted.

"Huh?" Chessie asked. Then the trap door opened, and she fell through it. "Yeow!"

"Drat and double drat!" Dastardly shouted. "Time for the banana peels again! Go to it, Muttley!"

Muttley took the banana peels and climbed up to the catwalk again, dropping the peels. However, the Banana Splits began bouncing around the stage, using one of the drums as a garbage can. Another attempt failed. Dastardly was getting impatient by this time.

"Okay," he said. "Time for the final blow. The sprinkler system!"

Dastardly turned on the sprinkler system just then, but nothing was coming out of it.

"What gives?" he asked. "Something must be clogging the drain!"

Dastardly turned the faucet up to full blast, and a large amount of water blasted out of the pipes, but not on the band. On Dastardly and Muttley. They were pushed all the way to the wall, and were out of dirty tricks. By that time, the Jellystone All-Stars had finished their song. The audience stood up and a thundering applause was heard. Ranger Smith came onto the stage, applauding himself.

"Well, it looks like we know the winner of the battle of the bands contest!" he shouted. "The Jellystone All-Stars! Here's the check for a thousand dollars!"

Josie was about to take the check when none other than Dick Dastardly and Muttley ran out on stage and grabbed the check right out of Ranger Smith's hand.

"This check is mine!" he shouted.

"Stop him!" Valerie yelled.

"We'll handle it," Multi Man replied. He, Coil Man, and Fluid Man dashed out the side door and got into the Impossi-Mobile. Then they took off after Dastardly and Muttley.

"Come on, Cats!" Country shouted. "Let's get after him!"

"Right, Country!" Groove, Scoots, and Kitty Jo shouted.

"No respect! No respect!" Jabberjaw shouted. "I say we go after him, too!"

"For once, Blubber Breath's got a good idea," Shelly said, and the Neptunes were off on the chase as well.

"Let's go, girls," Josie said.

"Yeah, he can't get away with this!" Valerie shouted, and the Pussycats were off.

The rest of the bands followed, as well as Yogi, Boo-Boo, and some of the other characters. They weren't going to let Dastardly and Muttley get away, that was for sure.

"We're rich, Muttley! Rich!" Dastardly shouted. "Who says cheaters never prosper? Ha, ha, ha!"

Muttley snickered. However, he stopped when he looked in the rearview mirror. The other bands were beginning to catch up with Dastardly. Muttley began to get his master's attention, but Dastardly was too busy on an ego trip to pay any attention.

"Stop that, you numbskull!" he shouted. "Can't you see I'm . . . ."

CRASH! Dastardly ran into a tree before he could get any further with his sentence. The other bands surrounded him just then.

"Give up, Dastardly!" Multi Man shouted.

"You're surrounded!" Coil Man yelled.

"Give us that check!" Butch shouted.

"Yeah, we won it fair and square!" Wally yelled.

"What can you do about it?" Dastardly asked. "This check is mine, and you'll never take it from me!"

"Okay, maybe we won't," Josie said. "But us good guys have friends in high places, right, Yogi?"

"You said it, Josie," Yogi said. Then he stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled. Suddenly, a loud noise was heard from the distance, shaking the ground.

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

It got louder and louder, and the louder it got, the harder the ground shook.

"What in the world is that?" Dastardly asked.

Boom! Boom! Boom! BOOM!

"Maybe it's a dinosaur!" Melody shouted.

"Or Godzilla," Wally said.

"Maybe even King Kong," Fluid Man replied.

"Close," Yogi said.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! _BOOM!_

The trees departed, and there stood the Great Grape Ape, a thirty foot gorilla.

"Grape Ape, Grape Ape, Grape Ape," he said.

"Holy zoology!" Coil Man shouted. "A thirty foot gorilla!"

"A thirty foot gorilla?" Dastardly repeated. He looked up and saw the giant gorilla standing right in front of him, looking ready to crush him into pieces if he didn't give the check back to the groups.

"Uhh, I'd love to stay," he said, nervously. "But . . . . . but I think we have to go stop the pigeon! Let's get out of here, Muttley!"

With that, Dastardly and Muttley ran off, for parts unknown, dropping the check. The groups laughed at that, and then divided up the thousand dollar prize.

"Well, all's well that ends well," Butch said.

"I don't think Dick Dastardly would agree with that," Fluid Man replied.

"Yeah," Huck said. "I guess that'll teach him to monkey around with anymore contests."

The End


End file.
